I wanted to capture this day somehow, this mood, this optimism. xo
I'm waking up to my personal responsibility. No one is going to help me and no one else is responsible. The child in me was really hurting (looking outward for help) and the adult in me felt really shamed (by the critical voice) so wasn't stepping up. This week all of this seems shed (due to some dark nights last week and over the weekend) but just in case I regress a bit, must continue to do the journalling, tapping and self-growth. And really monitoring where my thoughts go (restless social media, lonely social media and outward (seeking) rather than inward (rooting)) so that I can help soothe these needs and reprogram where my mind goes when it's triggered by these emotions.
I really need to put myself first - and REALLY first for awhile
(and not worry about if THIS CHOICE of FOCUSING ON ME will cost me some friends).
This actually is needed - this purging of friends who aren't able to go with you to where you want to go next.
THAT will be REAL BRAVERY.
Today I did my first podcast and I also had some good feedback from locals who DO want me to be involved - connect, possibly be a speaker, etc.
I feel so amazing after my first podcast. It went well. I had things to say and I was articulate. I used the word "galvanize". Hah!
Along with this boost and the need for bigger bravery - I need to relearn how to interact with my spouse (less mothering, doubting and frustration (with silence that triggers)) and deal with him as an adult also - more curiosity, more cheering, more trusting, more allowing and accepting. We have a good relationship but we have a certain dependent pattern that needs to be changed. Especially if I want to flourish as an adult and an entrepreneur!
Some things I need to do more of:
- Read my blog post: "Here are the facts - Do not panic re: Money" xo
- Do more money mantras and work with the Creating Money - Attracting Abundance book.
- Read the kind comments that I've saved in another draft blog post: "Read these when you need a boost!"
- Accept responsibility for my life (health, biz, etc.)
- Get to it!! Just three small steps a day.
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