just so lost down the rabbit hole

WEEK 109 - POST 2

So today I STILL felt crappy and very negative about both my part time job and entrepreneur job.  Really feeling like "what's the point?!?!?!"  It seems like I get these good messages/signs and then half of them are dashed to pieces within a few weeks.  This is the worst of the ups and downs, when it's not all in my head!  When I go after something but only find disappointment.  I need to have more resiliency tools and I really have to figure out what I LOVE doing and just focus on that.  I'd better LOVE what I'm doing here at my house because I can control that.  I can't control what happens outside of that.  xo

Here are some things that are helping:

- I parked 30 min walk away from a restaurant where I was meeting a friend last night and enjoyed a walk in nature (lovely summer day)
- My husband (office mate for one more week) suggested we have lunch outside on the backyard patio today (serious bliss calm)
- I had some fun practicing an impromptu video that I want to post weekly while I was on my walk last night (yay - got past a major block!!)
- In terms of expectations of others, I really need to keep them low.  Somehow I need to check in more (remind myself that this is not confirmed until they sign on the dotted line (#6)) and not get too excited that I've found "the one" (#1) until six months or one year later after it really feels good.  And THEN really appreciate it!!
- I also have to cast a wide net in terms of work - more than one opportunity for guest posts (#5) and podcasts.  Do not rely on just one request (or let a "no response" get you down!) and that goes for when you are asking for quotes (#2) - remember one person who shows their true colours quickly is really doing you a favour!
- Focus on the good and the reliable - really let THAT sink in and respond positively to all you can in terms of the good that is coming your way.  Write gratitude lists about this!!  (I have a new really cool GFC friend and a new local entrepreneur friend - I don't NEED an accountability buddy.)
- You also knew that #2 was going to be hard.  Have some affirmations or something scheduled to pick you up afterwards.  Have something in your calendar to give you a boost later that week.

Every time you think of #1, just reach out to someone else.  Realize that there are so many other people out there.  Do not get focused or lost in just one need (to connect to a specific person!!)

xo

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