one more small step

WEEK 101 - POST 2

Yesterday, I spent a bit of time working on some things: a schedule for the next few weeks (so that I prioritize the time to make some changes) and a budget so that I won't be stuck the next time the contract ends.  Both are very important to think about!!  I really want to be able to do some "spring cleaning" that will inspire me to go forward in a very different way.

We've been doing a bit more walking than we normally do, which I'm really happy about.

This week I really want to work on that newsletter (even though it's so VERY scary for me) and I want to finish a couple of more blog posts.  Then while I'm doing the spring cleaning, I'm looking forward to working on a few products which should lead up to a course this fall.

I keep saying I'll do the products but they don't get done.  And I do "look forward" to working on them but when the day comes, I'm always distracted or stressed or just feel this BLANK wall about them. 

But I guess shaming myself (that I haven't done them) doesn't help either.  I'm really stumped and sad and frustrated.  Even do the "five second trick" should be a good way to get around it but I am not motivated (?) even to try that.  I don't what the word is.  I'm not _______.  I still do think it is the FEAR.  What if I create this and they DON'T come???

Better not to do it at all.

That's been the issue for my whole life.

But I've done the BLOG and I've done some GUEST BLOG POSTS.  That's the first step.  Maybe I'm just not willing to really look at even this and say: even the BLOG isn't that popular - should I just give up?  Maybe that it is?

I know (in the far back deep recesses of my mind) that it can take up to 10 years for something to become an "instant success". 

So what I really need to do is just remind myself HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS and even just LOVE TALKING (WRITING) ABOUT IT and that's all I need right now.  The love, the passion, etc.

And then I just need to keep asking - how can I serve?  how can I serve?

(I also REALLY DO BELIEVE that by clearing out stuff next week I'll feel lighter and more focused and be able to have the room to create and play and DO!!)

OK, Let's do this!! 

xo