I'm getting derailed.
I got some good news yesterday (grant accepted) but other things are derailing me - people's emails (and what I project onto them - anger/judgement, etc) and social media (sad stories). So nothing has been done for the biz today.
I've said this to my spouse before. I do not want to invite this distraction, crap, negative stuff (or news that brings up negative stuff in me) into our house.
Perhaps I'm prepared to deal with it if I turn on the news or I go out and meet up with someone and they tell me their stories (sometimes this is why I don't want to meet up with people because I know I will be sucked in!) but it always really hits me when this stuff comes through the screen (via emails, social media, etc.)
It's got to stop.
I really need to have some rules about my time at work (and even at home). I really have to have boundaries:
- Social media at the end of the day.
- If I feel lonely or disconnected, text someone or sit with the loneliness.
- Only read emails at the end of the day or on the weekends.
UGH.
I just spent a morning dealing with emotions that came from a few things.
I DID do some work for the part-time job (connected with 5 people/organizations through emails or a call to set up meetings (3 for grants, 1 for possible partnership, 1 for personal question re: contracts) and pulled together numbers for the annual report). But even this frustrates and angers me as I'm not getting paid to do this. (And I'm not working with kind enough people who would agree to pay me for this - or is that a belief I have - or at least one that I've manifested here? UGH!!!)
OH AND YES!
Grant accepted but we can't actually accept it unless we get two others (and it's very clear that I won't have to sign anything with grantor).
What am I truly going to do - stop working for these people?
What do I really, really, REALLY want???
xo
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