what's what: monday morning check in!

WEEK 116 - POST 1

I don't know what to say this week.

It's been really hard lately. 

For so long I've just wanted something like Jen & Tim: someone to check in with once a week and to say hi to at the start of the work week.  But it never happens.  I've been asked to be in a Mastermind group (which fizzled), have had a task buddy (who has now gotten too busy) and then someone reached out to me about being Accountability partners and now she has disappeared.

But I think the problem really lies with me.  I want this TOO MUCH.

And I'm relying on someone else to give it to me.

There is so much wrapped up in this whole entrepreneurship decision.  It is so much harder (and emotional and personal) than I had ever thought it would be.  And I can't get on my own two feet and help myself.

I had a real couple of dark nights of the soul in the last week and it just sucks that I'm now HERE when I was just THERE (so happy and feeling positive) eight weeks ago.  What happened???

It's all just crashed and burned after that.

It really started in Week 105 - where I was expecting this group to share my post and they didn't.  (I didn't request it but they had shared on their own accord last year and I emailed then once I had published the post this year - thinking they would do it again.  But they didn't.)  It really hit me hard and I think affected my desire to write over the summer.  And even with the high of Week 108, it wasn't enough to get me back on track.

Working with a business coach was good (but short-lived) and then this accountability partner thing was such a strain also.  So up and down.  And the HSHB just really ISN'T helping.  It's just NOT what I need.  There is something that I need, that only I can give myself.  I really need to regroup and figure out another way forward!

(It also helps to have this blog and see that it has been only two months of being unfocused.  It feels like FOREVER since I've been positively focused on my BIZ.  And I DO think that some of that time wasn't wasted as I have had a breakthrough in my mission - now just to focus it down even more and find my niche.)

xo