I felt so positive about the part-time gig on Tuesday (looking at grants, etc.) and then I got this one email on Wednesday that totally set me back and reminded me of all that is wrong with this partnership. (I hate how "she" cuts too many corners and is not transparent in what she does and that I have to push back to protect myself but that means I might jeopardize this partnership.)
Each time I put too much faith in just one avenue I feel worried and wonder if I'm doing this right. If I spread out too much I feel like I'd be saying "no" to others and missing opportunities (contracting with various organizations - will they call me next time they have a job if I say no to this one??). I keep thinking "there is no one else out there" that I could work for - where deadlines are that much of a pressure, where I can keep my own time, where I can create my own project... but what if I'm wrong? I AM WRONG. I'm just scared.
How about this:
I'm learning. Of course I'm going to compromise on the first gig because I really need money but the more experience I get, the less I have to compromise. You are learning with each experience what you will and what you won't do for this new career.
- No more signing documents (the board can do it or I won't work for them)
- No more partnerships that don't feel right where you can't be transparent (you need to be clear about expectations before you start)
- More discussion and back and forth (remember you have a great deal to offer): part-time, consistency, experience, maturity - ability to manage your own projects
All of this experience has given you confidence and has let you be very clear about what you will accept in the future.
You need to branch out more - THIS IS THE YEAR.
Money should be coming in from a few venues:
- your business (and if this can grow great!!)
- smaller contracts (part-time, 3-4 months)
- writing articles (every 2-3 months submit one)
- partnerships and collaborations
Don't think of this as a failure. See this all as a learning experience. You have never had confidence in your work (even when you were at the government). You never knew what you were offering. You need to really start growing that confidence now. As you said to yourself this morning:
You may not know how to talk to millennials or other groups, but you DO know how to talk to YOUR audience. You are the best person out there to reach out and give them what they want and to be completely transparent with everything. YOU DO KNOW HOW TO REACH THEM.
Be authentic, be you and be exuberant about what you love but also gentle and kind with those who want what you have but don't have it yet. xo
No comments:
Post a Comment