WEEK 107 - POST 1
I don't know where to start.
I think there is this desire in me to be somewhere further. And there is this push to get certain things done (emails, garden, etc) and despite the need to slow down and the knowledge that I need to focus on me (go inward) and create a routine, etc. there is this way of living honed over 40 years that doesn't allow me to change, slow down or be OK with filling this need.
I keep seeing things as a pendulum. When I realize that I've swung too far to one side, I find myself over correcting and swinging completely towards the other side. It takes some time and some practice to learn how to settle in the middle.
My body aches again on a Monday from overdoing it in the garden this weekend. I write emails on Sunday night despite an aching wrist that needs to be rested.
There is this desire (always) to be some place "further". To be ahead, to have completed things, to be on top of all these tasks.
I've said it before and it needs to be repeated (as many times as needed until I really "HEAR" it) - the to do list will never be complete. I will never catch up. I will never be on top of things. I really, really, really need to accept this.
Of course with plants if you don't get on top of it - they will wither and die. There's that. And I AM trying to create a garden that won't require a lot of work (of course it also requires a less critical eye!) but there are the demands of creating it in the first place. : )
I think there are parallels there in the entrepreneur field. It does take MORE work to start a new business, to get it established and working well. And with my slow business, it is going to go slower because I'm not willing to do this 24/7.
I also have to see that while I berate myself for pushing my body too far this weekend, in other ways I took care of myself very well. I ache today and need to figure this out and do better but I also slowed down and did some really lovely things. So let's celebrate this and continue to learn and stretch and grow (and accept that there will always be this dichotomy).
xo
What's Inspiring You This Week: this messy office. I know that it will feel better when I attack it and organize it and get rid of the million papers lying around. but the wonder of it is that I also can continue working while it stays the same. let's do this!!
Where Are you Stuck This Week: already today I received an email that set me back - had me eating, seeking comfort and wishing I didn't have to deal with all this. but I watched it unravel with some sense of detachment and I know that I may have a small setback but I want to be on this journey. and I have a schedule this week that feels better in terms of time for processing things.
What Is The Message You Need To Hear: I am so proud of you. I can feel the shift. If you can continue to slow down and ensure you have enough time for yourself (seven personal interactions last week was too much!) I know that you will find the life you love. (and also realize that it's really here right now, once the worries, stresses and judgement can be quieted. xo)
What Will You Commit To For This Week: getting back on the blogging band wagon. and taking good care of myself. xo
OK, that's me... now tell me about you - how is this Monday in your entrepreneur life? Has your week started in the way you had hoped? What are your top priorities this week?
What's Inspiring You This Week:
Where Are you Stuck This Week:
What Is The Message You Need To Hear:
What Will You Commit To For This Week:
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