another milestone!!

WEEK 79 - POST 2

Almost Eighty Weeks!!

Wow - I can't believe I am here, that I've been doing this for that long!  Incredible!!  But I'm also needing a really BIG uplevel.  I feel like I've been at a stand still for twenty weeks or more.  There is a line I am just too scared to cross.  I'm using everything under the sun as an excuse not to do the next step (product development).

I know something is shifting... I have been thinking for weeks "something has to give".  This really has been the theme all season: just too much on my plate with the paperwork, my desire to be more healthy (food + exercise changes), needing to get out a bit more (for connection/community), my interest in spirituality, fashion and finances (I dabble in these off and on depending on my needs for distraction), watching too much tv and the creative writing project along with all normal stuff (family, friends, chores, errands, house/garden, doctors, dentists, etc).

I have been able to let go of some community "shoulds" and just focus on quality rather than quantity.  This has felt really good for me - no more organizing "group" gatherings, no more "yeses" when I mean "no".

I have let go of the writing this year (but with my commitment to my C.P. it's still nagging me in the background).  The writing weekend went well but I still don't have another chapter done.  I hate to let it go completely.

But now the holidays have taken over and for some reason I've decided that I need some more "shoulds" (gifts/cards/baking) rather than less!

I really know that I need to drop some of the interests and tv (and other screen time) and just allow my health goals to replace them.  Tv is a "wind-down" activity and I KNOW that exercise could replace it if I could figure out how to shift it.  Also doing "cool things" needs to come off my list.  Even when I don't do them, hearing about them and missing them makes me feel anxious.

Here it is Thursday and no product development has been done.

I NEED to figure this out!!

ACTUALLY I need to allow and accept and go with the flow and NOT "figure it out".  It's not my mind that is going to get me past this.  I already know the best ways to move forward, I'm just forgetting how EASY it really is.

You are brilliant, you HAVE it in you, you CAN do this!!

xo