WEEK 68 - POST 1
Where did the week go? It's grant writing time (for part-time job) and for some reason I spent way too much time with emails on other stuff.
For the part-time job I'm coordinating:
- engraving of signs
- looking at options for a video
- mid-term report numbers
- responding to HQ's request about our booth material
- providing comments for our chapter about new website, certificates, graphics, etc.
and more than half of these things weren't on my to do list last week and they are all taking more time than they should! Again it looks like I'll be doing overtime and having to put it against the next month. Sigh!
But the big thing this week is that I had a disaster emotional outburst after a meeting where I finally had to face a big personal reporting "duty" that I've been shirking. And I thought it really didn't affect me but after the meeting I realized that part of why I've been avoiding this is that it's so wrought with guilt, emotion, despair. Sleepless night and such worry, worry, worry.
But feeling better a day or two after and all I can do is get the paperwork done and send it in and hope that I finally have this behemoth off my back. (It'll be up to four months before I "officially" know.)
There are many days where the gremlins in my head are winning - where I feel like I haven't done anything significant since I left my government job. Everything feels so precarious - like I am hanging by a thread and there are no other options to turn to if this part-time job ended. And that's not even considering the entrepreneur work I'm trying to pursue.
Emphasis on TRYING.
I MUST get some products done. UGH.
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