WEEK 51 - POST 1
I'm stressed. I had a bit of a rage last night (my parents triggered me).
I should have seen it more clearly (i.e. even the titles of my posts were an indication) that stress was building.
Good thing: I recognized that I was stressed (with all the shit I have to do this week) so I cancelled or moved things.
- cancelled coffee date today (even though this would probably help)
- cancelled part-time work event this week (was only my idea to go - didn't have to)
- decided not to go to entrepreneur meet-up this week (will go next month)
- asked for a phone meeting rather than a face-to-face for other Biz meeting
- asked to move life coaching session (even though this would probably help)
But I kept my obligation with my parents even though the stress was not entirely alleviated and
just lost it when I was there.
Good thing: I did say "No" to two recent requests (pro bono biz requests) which was a great opportunity to draw some boundaries and keep my sanity.
This morning, I really looked around and wondered if I have a good group of people to turn to in times of need. Currently, I'm not so sure (especially those close by).
I'm really realizing that I have to prioritize supportive friends and stop these obligation "catch-up" coffees with people that I unconsciously attract (talkative "doers" who are emotionally-illiterate and/or really emotional (need to be "fixed") negative people) - and just as I write these two descriptions down I wonder if they describe my parents - ugh.)
I need to surround myself with creative, emotionally-literate, supportive and open-hearted people. And this will help feed my creative entrepreneur focus and desire!!
I need to trust my gut and just say "yes" or a big "no" depending on how I feel.
I also need to nurture myself, build my self-esteem and really prioritize my healing (rather than numb it with tv and alcohol and food).
Even social media is making me feel resentful. (Sadly I "need" it for my business. Ugh.)
(Also I noticed that even though I was OK with writing that the Fact Sheet is still not done - I actually wanted to look up how many weeks I have done this... and possibly shame myself about that? Or at least acknowledge it - many times I want to "head things off at the pass" by saying things that I think people might be thinking...)
I need a break this week. Hope things are going better for you.