WEEK 48 - POST 3
So I'm feeling a bit better now. Had a bit of releasing of emotions and it was good to "journal" here to really identify where the stress was coming from! Does that ever happen to you? Is it hard to identify where stress is coming from or do you just "survive" it - go through it, rather than slow down, take care of yourself and try to hear what's coming up? My usual modus operandi is to just plow through, to assume that "stress" is just part of life that has to be tolerated. It's not a beacon that is telling me - slow down, stop - let's see what's going on! And I'm hoping that I can make it that.
Something that helps me gauge when things are not right and there needs to be a course correction!
And I also realize that I have this bad habit of just saying "yes" to things and then just hoping I'll figure it out (or tolerate the mess) along the way. For example - I said "yes" to this new grant last September because I didn't want to raise a fuss and there was fear attached to me saying "no" to my boss. What if she didn't want to partner with me in the future if I said No? What if she replaced me? What if I lost this part-time job? (Which maybe would have been good! hah!) But due to fear I said "yes" figuring I'll just get through it, if we got the grant. (And I did raise a bit of concern but she just said "we'll be able to tailor it here in our chapter so that it works for us") Hah!
My intuition was telling me "No" but I said "Yes".
Also the same with this issue of finding funding for staff. I'm not asking many questions of my boss but I think I should be more involved. I said "yes" because I really can't do the French component and I really don't believe in the other target. Again saying "yes" to something but not really looking at what it would entail. And now it's just bringing me stress.
OK enough of that!
I am feeling better. I'm going to get the last fact sheet done this week and tackle the other two components next week and get this writing contract behind me once and for all!!!
So here are some fun firsts:
- First email to my blog (from someone I met this winter - we were talking about walking in winter)
- First business email about awards that I could apply to some day: "2017 ______ Inspiration Awards". I'm very excited as I will definitely apply once I am offering some products!
- First luncheon invite with my name "and guest" on it! (while not in my field - I'm keeping it as inspiration that I will be invited to others IN my field!)
- First profile of my blog on another website (which is a local "news" blog) - when I saw it at the end of last week I was so thrilled!! AMAZING!!!
- First support for a campaign (from organizations that I emailed for support): the news blog (above) and two others supported me with tweets (Kind, GLO) about my Volunteer Page!!
OK - this is getting to be a long post (again!) sorry about that!! I'll check in tomorrow with a review of what tasks have been complete!!
How about you - what were your first "Firsts"?? What are your next goals? Are you getting better at saying "No" and trusting that the best will come if you let go of things that don't feel right??